I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
