and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
