we have pet lesbian snakes
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
