I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize