is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
