can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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