Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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