...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
