Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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