I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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