last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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