I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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