i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
