You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
