I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
