nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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