Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
