the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He passed out mid-signature
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize