Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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