How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
4 words: hood of his car
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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