some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
