Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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