...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
