So drunk its hurt
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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