I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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