yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
