one two three fourrrrnication!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
