soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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