she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
