this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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