Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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