Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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