Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
