Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
