Me too!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
