Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
