your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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