Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
