Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
