If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
