i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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