My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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