I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
