Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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