Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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