I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize