I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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