The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize