you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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