Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
