i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
