Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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