Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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