There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
His nipple licking is glorious
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