So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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