Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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