Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
