eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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