look no pants
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
