That's when you crack a 10am beer
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
