Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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