so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
