Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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