I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
