Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I forgot how hot balto sounded
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
